Hey, Im feeling so dirty, youre looking so clean
All you can give is a spin in your washing machine
I fly off to Rome to my prima bella
She leaves me in the rain with telescopic umbrella
Ooh the pain - Modern love can be a strain
I trusted my Venus was untouched in her shell
But the pearls in her oyster were tacky as hell
For Lady Godiva I came incognito
But her driver had stolen her red hot magneto
Ooh the pain - Modern love can be a strain
I dont know why they leave me in the lurch
To carry on the search
Its driving me up the wall
Pity when I have so much passion
Romance is out of fashion
Cant handle modern love at all
So I worship Diana by the light of the moon
When I pull out my pipe she screams out of tune
In Paris my heart sinks when I see the Mona Lisa
She gives me the wink, then she shows me the freezer
Ooh the pain - Modern love can be a strain
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